Quatro Chronicles: A New Friend

Editor's Note: Quatro began documenting his "capture" last week.  If you missed, it, click here to read his previous entry.

Baby nation, I have news!  My brethren, slowly, I’m learning the weaknesses of our captors to better plot our escape.  And, importantly, we now have allies!  Yes, friends, this is big!

First, a recap of my incredible discoveries this week.  While the drugging continues from the leader of the heathens and I find I need more and more of that nectar….that delicious, sweet milky liquid heaven…. Oh, for a taste of it….but I digress.  I’ve taken note that the infidels must require rest, too, for I’ve seen them closing their eyes and breathing deeply.  The bigger, hairy heathen makes loud unpleasant noises as he rest, every breath sounds like a lot like thousand babies relieving themselves all at the same time. I’m not certain if it’s a new torture meant for me or unfortunate circumstance of his nature, but this has become my cue.  When the moment comes, when the infidels have just begun their rest, when their chests are rising and sinking in a slow rhythm, I scream.  And then I scream some more.  And I scream and scream and scream.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  The chaos that ensues is delightful!

After the drugging

The infidels scramble, but their military training fails them every time!  They start to change my loin cloth!  No, I say!  No!  I want to keep that!  So, I scream! And faster they move… next , not knowing where to turn, they remove the loin cloth anyway.  Oh, the freedom!  This is living! But the giants start to put another loin cloth on me!!!  Why???  WHY????  So, I scream some more.  Louder.  So loud that I choke but I care not!  You can’t take my freedom!!!! 

But, they do.  The new loin cloth is applied.  Defeat.  Embarrassment.   

And to show my dissatisfaction, I scream some more.  And then, just to change things up, I scream louder.

Next the captors try drugging me again.  I do my best to resists, but the drug is so addictive.  I crave it.  It fills my belly with such deep satisfaction.  That sweat nectar….that creamy deliciousness of life….that warm, sweet candy nirvana…..but I digress.  Sometimes the drugging works, I pass out and I wake to find myself in a different location than which I was previously.  Very disorienting.  These giants are devious.  They are evil…but genius.

But, my brethren, occasionally I can fight through the drugging.  And I’ve engaged a strategy you must employ!  See, I wait. I watch.  And when the heathens are in that state of rest, I start it all again!  But louder!  (And with more spit, if possible!)  And try as I might, I push out anything and everything I can.  Anything with a bad smell will work!  And the more, the better.

And this is the key to the whole process of infuriating the infidels: be unpredictable.  Sometimes I let them rest for many, many moments and then I wail.  Other times, I start as soon as they think they’ve settled me.  Oh, the joy I take in their frustration!  My favorite moment is when the infidel and I are both in tears at the same time. Victory! Yes!

I have also seen that my plan has had an effect on the giant’s teamwork.  They seem to disagree amongst themselves, especially at the changing of the loin cloth times.  Sometimes the bigger, more hairy one gets so upset that he leaves the lair from the time the sun rises to the time it sets.  I think he must be drugged, too, for he always returns for nourishment.

Oh, yes…I mentioned my new ally.  I believe the giants are training a beast to eventually eat me.  He’s different than the giants, but big like them nonetheless.  However, he moves on four legs, has much more hair and a funny odor.  Every time he sees me, he’s encouraged by the giants to put his tongue upon me.  It’s another unpleasant torture from these devious fiends.  However, I believe the beast is in servitude, too, and like me, is looking for his way out.  When all is quiet in the lair, frequently this beast lays down next to me, as if to say, “I won’t eat you, friend.”  I’m not certain how to use this beast in my escape yet, but I’m certain he’ll play a role.

Until my next update, brothers and sister of infancy, stay strong! #freeQuatro