Thursday, March 31, 2011
Do dads think?
Raspberry Wars
We all enjoy that point when the newest youngest is ready for interactive exchanges. She says “Pfftttttp” and father with all of the integrity of a grown adult will reply in kind. After a few more rounds comes that light in the soul smile followed by laughter. I take a pause to burn that image into my brain so that I never forget it.
When you think about it most of our adult debates aren’t much different. We attempt to replace the funny noises with deep and insightful thought, but in the end we usually just meet the equivalent of saying “Pfffftttttp” at each other.
I am grateful for what my young children have taught me about this. To laugh and smile, while continuing the all-important dialog of curiosity and the instinct to learn.
Pretty soon we all move past tongue skills and onto making funny sounds at each other.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
8 Rules to Fatherhood Success
Eight Tracks
Thinking about the days when I rode to work with my Dad in that white work van. We listened and sang to music on our way to the job. Van Halen’s first album was jamming in the eight track player with my Dad singing along. It is a great memory. Yes, it was on eight track and they are that long ago. We also enjoyed Def Leppard’s first album on eight track before anyone was pouring sugar on themselves.
Now it is iPods and MP3s and I am deeply concerned.
My wife once sprung a date night on me to go see a laser show synchronized with Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon”. The host let us know the music came from original black licorice and that we would get a break before side two. That is when experience of the moment hit me.
During the break I made a commitment. My children will not compress their world into 140 character “tweets”. So in my man cave there is a turntable that can play my father’s record collection to make sure we try to pass the tradition of family music along as best that I can. My oldest girl was soon jamming to Uriah Heep. I used to sing “The Wizard” with my Dad when I was very young and now we carry the tradition by singing the chorus of “Lady in Black” together.
The basement is family ground where a mess is allowed. When I think about it, I play the music from this record collection and think about the lessons my Dad has taught me so I can connect those great moments to my children as well.
FYI: Side one of “Dreamboat Annie” by Heart, is a good date night record.
Advice From a Father to a Father
My Wife is One of My Girls Too.
It is about 8:45p and my daughters are in bed sleeping. It is one of the rare nights we got them both in bed on time within a margin of error. Just as we settle into our own bed my wife’s phone rings. It is our babysitter, and she needs me to print out her homework.
Out of all the random requests a family might get on a late Tuesday (yes 8:45p is considered late for two working parents with two young children) I would never have thought of this one. But rather than be irritated or even let out a heavy sigh I instructed my wife on how the young high school junior should email the homework to me and I began the walk down six sets of stairs into my basement home office to print it for her.
For one thing I know her parents, and they likely can’t use a computer to play Pac-man so it is not her fault. Second, good trustworthy babysitters are hard to come by and when you find the best they are recognized as a family friend. We overpay her to make sure she says yes when we need her and I have my own agenda at work in doing this favor as well.
There are times when I recognize that my wife has had a few bad days at work in a row. There are also times when I must travel for my job and that means Mom must do everything for weeks at a time. All she asks for in stress relief is two good workouts a week at the gym, that the sanctity of her hair appointments be respected, and date nights.
I print out the homework and can’t resist looking it over. It is a nice report on chapter 25, “Imperialism, Alliances, and War”. I learned a few things in reading it along with confirmation that I am not smarter than an 11th grader either. I am smart enough to secure the natural resources required for having regular worry free date nights with my wife however, and the occasional lava cake for desert.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Dad's who travel...a lot
- Send postcards from every new city I visit (lost it's appeal to the kids)
- Bring home trinkets, hats, t-shirts (gets expensive)
- skype and more skype (internationally works great)
- The piece de la resistance...I had a great client fly my family out to Australia for 4 weeks last summer instead of me doing 2 additional roundtrips (now my kids think you fly business class everywhere)